Thursday, April 16, 2009

The nightlight that lit my way

I was going through a box yesterday and I was thrilled to find my nightlight! When Clayton was about two the bulb popped and I put it away thinking that I would change the bulb when I had a minute. Well, yesterday was the day (almost 2 years later). I took it apart and when I plugged it in it was like finding a long lost friend. This was the nightlight that changed it all.

I can not remember the name of the woman who gave me this light. She was someone that passed through my life when I was pregnant with Clayton. What I do remember is the night that I first plugged it in. Clayton was a few weeks old and still recovering from his time in the NICU. We were still trying to get nursing established and we were all exhausted. Clayton was trying to "get my milk up" by nursing almost all night. As I sat up to nurse I looked over and turned this little light on and it transformed my mothering. I realized that I was in the middle of the sacred.

I thought of all the other women who were up nursing or caring for their children. I felt the eternal thread that went back through me to my mother and grandmothers. I thought of the monks up praying and honoring the cannonical hours and I decided that I would look at the hours I was spending with my son as the divine hours of motherhood. I began to pray and I was lifted up. That nightlight lit my way through two years of sleepless nights, two moves and a hospital stay. I can not count the hours I have spent holding my precious boy by that light and praying.

What a gift. The woman who gave me this light could neve have known all that would come of it. She could never have known that such a seemingly small thing would be the catalyst for such change in my life. I believe that God did know. He had a plan and she was his hands.

May my hands be guided to give such gifts to others.
May I remember that no gift is too small if given with great love and an open heart.
May my hands be Your hands, Lord. Amen.

Has anyone given you a seemingly small gift that transformed your life in a positive way? I would love to hear your story!

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